When you’re speed dating or networking, you only have a few minutes to make a connection. But there are many similar situations that can present themselves socially and professionally.   That’s why developing skills relative to how to start a conversation and to connect with someone is so important.

It’s natural for us to feel more at ease with people who are more like ourselves than different.  Not surprisingly, a key to breaking the ice is to try to establish a common bond between yourself and someone you’ve just met or would like to meet. Salespersons are usually masters at this.

Always be on the look out for clues. Maybe the person is wearing something that indicates an area of interest or expertise. Pick up on business cards on briefcases or luggage.  Usually the company logo is large enough to read even if their name or title isn’t. Jewelry, fashions and fashion accessories can sometimes offer clues. Practice when you’re in places and situations where there are lots of opportunities to people watch. Beyond the obvious places like malls and parks, try this in places where there can be a real range of people. Sporting events, airports, train stations, flea markets, carnivals and tourists areas are a few places which come to mind.

Once you get really good at this, move on to less obvious clues. Each time you pick up on something, try to think of how you might be able to turn it into a conversation opener. Then give it a shot in low key situations at first. Initially, you may find this less threatening to begin with other members of your own sex. Then as you become more skilled and confident, look for low pressure opportunities with members of the opposite sex. As things progress, your conversational skills should build until you are confident that you can strike up a conversation with anyone.

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