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The Topic: Earlier this week ABC’s Nightline featured a controversial news article. Originally broadcast late last year, Why Can’t a Successful Black Woman Find a Man? focused on a panel “discussion” of the problems single black women professionals face finding mates.  If you missed the episode, you might want to visit the ABC Nightline website where you can still catch some of the panelists’ clips.

The Moderators: Nightline’s Vicki Mabrey and author, Steve Harvey (Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man) served as co-moderators though Harvey frequently took the floor – acting more the panelist than moderator.

The Panelists: The View co-host and author, Sherri Shepherd (Permission Slips) and VH1’s Jacque Reid (Let’s Talk About Pep) offered the black women’s point of view. Black male perspective was represented by CSI: NY star and author Hill Harper (The Conversation: How Black Men and Women Can Build Loving, Trusting, Relationships.) He was joined by Jimi Izrael whose comments showed why his book The Denzel Principal is so controversial.

While there were plenty of statistics offered, the bottom line often boiled down to whether or not black gals are willing to settle for black men who are not their intellectual or economic equal in order to marry within their race. Izrael and Harvey were quick to characterize black women as having superiority complexes and unrealistic expectations. Harvey even went so far as to take the lady panelists’ concerns that many black men are intimidated by successful black women turning it back on them saying that maybe they make these men feel ashamed.

Of course, we can trust that the editors did their best to select only the juiciest outtakes. With about a thousand in the audience and another 300 turned away for lack of room in Atlanta’s Porter Sanford Center for the Performing Arts, it was obvious that the subject garnered a lot of interest. And, while ABC seemed to bill it as a Ladies’ Night Out, I for one, couldn’t help but notice how very many black males were in attendance. This was clearly of concern to more than just BG’s (as black “girls” refer to themselves in some of the online clips).

Having the male perspective was invaluable to the discussion – a subject which I’ll expand upon in an entry later this week.

Ultimately, many of the gals interviewed did admit that they’ve scaled down their list of “wants” (What woman over 30 hasn’t?).  Nearly all seemed adamant that refuse to “settle” despite the male panelists’ insistances that in the face of reality, they need to compromise. What I found so interesting was that the one thing most seemed unwilling to compromise on is initial chemistry. Even if all the other attributes on their list were in order, if there was no chemistry, it was the deal breaker.

BG’s (Black Girls) message to ABC’s Nightline: It’s still about the sparks, stupid!

That my friends, is why face-to-face meetings and first impressions are soooo very important. And, it’s why all the online dating in the world cannot deliver in a few hours what speed dating can. Your time is precious, use it wisely. In the nine innings that it takes to watch a single baseball game, at an Inning Dates speed dating singles event you’ll also make at least nine new friends. Some of them just might generate the sparks you’re looking for.