speeddadiva

The Topic: Earlier this week ABC’s Nightline featured a controversial news article. Originally broadcast late last year, Why Can’t a Successful Black Woman Find a Man? focused on a panel “discussion” of the problems single black women professionals face finding mates.  If you missed the episode, you might want to visit the ABC Nightline website where you can still catch some of the panelists’ clips.

The Moderators: Nightline’s Vicki Mabrey and author, Steve Harvey (Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man) served as co-moderators though Harvey frequently took the floor – acting more the panelist than moderator.

The Panelists: The View co-host and author, Sherri Shepherd (Permission Slips) and VH1’s Jacque Reid (Let’s Talk About Pep) offered the black women’s point of view. Black male perspective was represented by CSI: NY star and author Hill Harper (The Conversation: How Black Men and Women Can Build Loving, Trusting, Relationships.) He was joined by Jimi Izrael whose comments showed why his book The Denzel Principal is so controversial.

While there were plenty of statistics offered, the bottom line often boiled down to whether or not black gals are willing to settle for black men who are not their intellectual or economic equal in order to marry within their race. Izrael and Harvey were quick to characterize black women as having superiority complexes and unrealistic expectations. Harvey even went so far as to take the lady panelists’ concerns that many black men are intimidated by successful black women turning it back on them saying that maybe they make these men feel ashamed.

Of course, we can trust that the editors did their best to select only the juiciest outtakes. With about a thousand in the audience and another 300 turned away for lack of room in Atlanta’s Porter Sanford Center for the Performing Arts, it was obvious that the subject garnered a lot of interest. And, while ABC seemed to bill it as a Ladies’ Night Out, I for one, couldn’t help but notice how very many black males were in attendance. This was clearly of concern to more than just BG’s (as black “girls” refer to themselves in some of the online clips).

Having the male perspective was invaluable to the discussion – a subject which I’ll expand upon in an entry later this week.

Ultimately, many of the gals interviewed did admit that they’ve scaled down their list of “wants” (What woman over 30 hasn’t?).  Nearly all seemed adamant that refuse to “settle” despite the male panelists’ insistances that in the face of reality, they need to compromise. What I found so interesting was that the one thing most seemed unwilling to compromise on is initial chemistry. Even if all the other attributes on their list were in order, if there was no chemistry, it was the deal breaker.

BG’s (Black Girls) message to ABC’s Nightline: It’s still about the sparks, stupid!

That my friends, is why face-to-face meetings and first impressions are soooo very important. And, it’s why all the online dating in the world cannot deliver in a few hours what speed dating can. Your time is precious, use it wisely. In the nine innings that it takes to watch a single baseball game, at an Inning Dates speed dating singles event you’ll also make at least nine new friends. Some of them just might generate the sparks you’re looking for.

Let the speed dating games begin. Calling single New England baseball fans.  Sign up now for our seasonal Inning Dates events where Speed Dating meets minor league baseball.

Why not add a whole new dimension to your dating and sporting life? Our original Inning Dates are a fun, wholesome and simple way to meet other singles. We harness the high power networking of speed dating and link it to the natural structure of a baseball game. The result is an innovative way to make lots of introductions in the time it takes to watch a baseball game.

Like speed dating, couples pair for a mini date to see if they’d be interested in meeting again. But rather than being for a finite duration of time like in speed dating, Inning Dates last for a single inning – however short or long that may be.

We suggest using the game’s inning structure to allow for some interaction. For example, if one person in a pairing initiates the questioning from the start of an inning till mid-inning (when the teams switch places), then the other person has from that point till the end of the inning to ask their questions. As the inning concludes, the Inning Dates conclude as well. Each single marks their scorecards as to whether or not they’d like to meet again. With the start of the next inning the process begins again with new partners. And, so it continues until the game concludes.

By the end of a game, the speed daters have usually had nine (nine inning in a game) or more Inning Dates. Just as in speed dating, within a few days, they receive contact information via email for those people with whom they “matched.”  If both people in a pairing agree they might like to meet again, it’s considered a “match.”

One of the things that singles share with us about speed dating at a baseball game is how grateful they are to have the backdrop of the baseball game. Sitting outdoors on a nice summer night under the stars with a bunch of other singles who have the same agenda (to meet someone new) is surprisingly fun and relaxing. Often the game helps stimulate conversation in a laid back way. And, the element of not knowing exactly how long an inning will last can add to the excitement.  If you don’t stay on top of your game, the inning and your opportunity (to get to know the other person) can be over before you know it!

The season is short. And while we have scheduled Inning Dates events for every age group we serve and for nearly all New England teams, the number of times we visit a given park varies with each team given the duration of their season and the logistics of ours. In order not to be disappointed, book early. See our websites amatchmadein7.com and inningdates.com for more info including FAQ’s.

Why play a waiting game when you could play the Dating Game? A Match Made in 7 speed dating now with our own version of a TV classic.

By now most everyone in the Western world has heard of the classic TV show, The Dating Game.  It’s one of the earliest reality shows and appears to have influenced the genre of the bachelor / bachelorette shows.  One of the keys to its success was that its format allowed the audience to play along with the advantage of being able to see all the participants on stage while the questioner could not see the panel and vice verse.   Most scenarios featured a single gal or guy armed with somewhat provocative and leading questions which they asked of a trio of the opposite sex. The questioner and the panel were separated so that they could not see one another.

It seemed to so closely parallel the speed dating format, I thought, Why not? So, instead of hokey ice breakers to warm up our participants, we’re offering you what amounts to a unique bonus round. When you register, you’ll be given the opportunity to participate in our dating game. No, we’re not giving away any trips or prizes. But since our dating game will begin our event, participation will offer you the opportunity to get noticed by our other guests. Even if you don’t happen to be among the people they later meet in their match rounds, they can make a special request for you on their score card. Best of all, it gets our whole audience of speed daters in the swing of things. In fact, some aspects of the game will specifically include the audience.

So, when you sign up for one of our A Match Made in 7 speed dating events, be sure to consider checking off the option to participate in a round of a dating game. While we’ll only need a handful of participants, all of them will come from those of you who volunteer. If you’re willing to participate, simply check off the box on the registration form.

Hi speed daters! After being on hiatus, we’ve returned with a super fall/winter lineup. Check our online schedule for upcoming events in your general area & sign up right away to avoid disappointment . Remember, because Inning Dates/A Match Made in 7 runs only balanced speed dating events (equals numbers of  gals  and guys) , at anytime we  may  freeze (close) signups for either sex. This is necessary in order for signups of the opposite sex to “catch up” so that we can maintain a one-to-one ratio. At our events everyone gets to participate every match round increasing your odds of meeting someone of interest.

Don’t be left out in the cold. Visit our website to Sign up NOW!

Even though attending a speed dating event is about meeting new people, everyone has their own idea about what that means to them. What are your goals for speed dating?  If  you want to get the most out of your speed dating experience, it’s imperative to have some goals going into the event. Knowing what you hope to accomplish that evening can help guide your preparation, participation and follow-up.

Assess your personal situation and relationship goals. Do you just aim to get circulating again? Are you looking for something light like occasional dates or something serious and long term? Would you be open to a friendship centered around a common interest – like a sport or hobby?

What situations would your prefer? Which would you prefer to avoid? What are your feelings regarding someone who is divorced or legally separated? How do you feel about dating someone with children? If you’re a parent yourself, would you prefer to date someone who is also a single parent?

What is your comfort zone regarding those who are a different religion or race than you? How do you feel about dating someone who lives some distance from you?  Are you willing to invest travel time, gas expense, and long distance charges to sustain a relationship?

Thinking about these things beforehand can help inspire topics of conversations and questions. Ultimately, it may help you to choose your “matches” – those with whom you’d like to follow-up, because they meet your selection criteria.